..bright with despair..

I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying.

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..you tear and tear your hair from roots..
pushing daisies
today, by accident, i find out what my mother is diagnosed with:
severe schizophrenia
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
and trichotillia, some ocd-related illness where you tear out your hair until it is bald in patches or completely. some people also feel compelled to eat the hair. i don't know if she is one of them.

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sorry to hear about that.
that sucks.

my mom is still just a pseudo-addict and very strange.

not to sound mean or anything, but i almost saw that one coming.
like how she started acting totally different when we were in high school and such. maybe she will get treated and get better.

she has been seeing a therapist, she was in a home for a while but now lives in her own apartment and pretty much takes care of herself, which is huge. she still cannot interact with people more normally than the old homeless coot who talks to themselves downtown.. I just know this because my aunt tells me and i saw her once in the past however many years. it was sad. very sad. but what makes me more upset is that ive asked everyone what it was that she had besides a damn good case of the crazies and no one would tell me. it was as if no one knew, but they did all along. im just wondering why, i guess. my aunt usually doesnt hide things from me. i hope i get past myself enough to rebuild a relationship with her, but she hasn't been who my mother was for a long time, you know?

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